Goodbye to You
by dreamerdoll
Summary: KN. Neal and Kel were in love during the war, but afterward Neal goes back with Yuki, believing that it would be wrong to go back on his promise.CHAPTER ONE IS REVISED-NO LONGER A SONGFIC!
1. Goodbye to You

Prologue: Goodbye to You 

Keladry of Mindelan watched as her best friend, the one she loved, sailed away. Sailed away to a new life, where he would be married, to a woman who was not she, as much as she had wished, at one time, that it were. Even now, some corner of her mind wished it, despite the way he had hurt her. Despite everything that had happened. Her rational thoughts told her to move on, to get over him, but that one little part, rebelled; refused to stop loving him. So she continues to care for him, even as he left her.

She watched as he left, with little more than a wave as he wrapped his arm around his soon-to-be wife, as the only man that she has ever loved, the only one she ever will, left. Inside, she mourned for the loss, but her expression gave away nothing. She would not let it. She hid everything away from her Yamani mask, not willing to let anyone see her pain.

As the days passed, all she could do was practice, for if she weren't practicing, she would remember. Remember everything of the past, everything they had shared, and feel all the pain. She refused to give into her thoughts, her memories. So she spent her time on the practice courts, fighting all her energy, hopes, everything, away. She counted the days passing by, incredibly lonely without her best friend. She truthfully had no clue as to what to do, and absolutely hated herself for it. She knew she had to move on. It was how she was going to that she had no clue of. So she just practiced alone, waiting for his return, knowing that when he did, he would be married to another woman. Each time she thought that, there was a pain in her heart as sharp as any blade.

She remembered, even though she tried not to, how happy they had been. Those wonderful years. She tried to hold them close and push them as far away from her mind as possible at the same time. She remembered how safe she had felt, being held in his arms, a feeling that had never before been there, and now how alone she was. And she hated him for it. Hated how he had given her love, only to rip it away, to go back to his original plans, acting as if she, as if they, had never happened. That cut as deeply as any blade.

She had lost so many, during the war. So many gone that she had cared about, that she had needed. Yet he had been there through it all, helping her when needed, comforting her. She had loved him, more than she had believed possible. While everything around her was changing, he was the one she constantly tried to hold on to.

Even now, she found herself lost in the mere memory of his eyes. That deep, beautiful green that had been so loving, caring, and protecting. She thought she was safe from everything when she was with him. But who could save her from him? Still she felt as if she couldn't live without him.

She remembered the first time she actually admitted her love for him. The war, as always, was on her mind, plans for battle for the next day, thoughts of those who had died. Then he had kissed her, and all of it rushed away, and for the first time in so long, she was at peace. Nothing plagued her mind. And it wasn't right. He had no right to make her love him as she did, then marry someone else.

She loved him so much. So much that it hurt. Of course, why wouldn't it? But now, it was over. Still, it was all, everything, she had known, or at least thought she had known, for the past three years. He was her rock, the one solid thing throughout that awful time that had kept her together, kept her sane. He was the one she held on to through everything. And now she had to let go, a feat that seemed almost impossible.

It hurt. She ached. She loved him. She wanted that love she had for him back- he didn't deserve it. And she wanted his love. She wanted him. But no-she wouldn't do anything to get him back. He had his chance, and he had thrown it away. She would not give in.

As she lay in her bed at night, she would look up at the stars and remember. She remembered how they had stayed, cuddled up before the fire, and watched the stars. He was her shooting star. He left her life just as quickly as he came in, fulfilling a dream, making her wish for more. And that was a thing that she would never forgive him for.

* * *

So, how'd you like? Really sucky? Idk. For those of you that didn't understand it, Kel is in love with Neal. During the war, they were together, and she thought they were in love. However, the minute the war was over, he was going to marry Yuki, just as he had planned. By the way, they were sailing to the Yamani Islands to get married. However, Kel was not going. I know, she most likely would, but oh well. So, hope you liked.

So, yeah. I revised it, so it included no song lyrics. I'm surprised actually that it turned out half decent. Lol. But I'm going to make a group under MSN or Yahoo with all my songfics so, if you like, you can read them. I'm quite attached. Lol. I will probably also add more there for this story. So, if anyone is interested, I will add more about it when I alter the next songfic. Also, anyone who would be interested in posting songfics there can email me!


	2. Chapter One: Relizations and Conversatio...

Goodbye to You Chapter One  
  
Neal watched as the docks disappeared, and with them, his best friend, the woman he loved. He hadn't known what to do when the war was over. Finally, he had decided that his duty was to Yuki, because not only had he loved her first, she was his fiancee. He could not turn his back on that, no matter how much he loved Kel. He had tried to force his love for her aside, but it hadn't worked. He was still very much in love with his best friend. Yet here he was, going to marry another woman.  
  
Yuki came up and placed a hand on his shoulder, and he gave her a small smile. She smiled back before turning to watch the sea.

* * *

He knew that Yuki was worried about him. But he couldn't help it. It just didn't feel right. He had loved Kel, but he would stay here, with Yuki, because he thought it was right.  
  
Of course, Neal still loved Yuki. But it was the way a friend loves a friend. The way he had loved Kel. But then...well, then the war had happened, and he had fallen in love with his best friend. He hadn't meant for it to happen. It just had.  
  
When he had explained things to Kel, he could tell she was hurt. He tried to make her understand, but all she had done was pull on her Yamani mask and tell him she needed to practice. It had killed him. He needed her to understand that he still loved her, but he still had a duty to Yuki. But she didn't say anything, just nodded her head. He had written her a letter, but she hadn't made any implication that she had even gotten it. He tried to comfort himself by saying that they would always be best friends, but it wasn't true. Of course they wouldn't. As much as she tried to pretend she wasn't, he knew she was hurt from what he had done.  
  
They wouldn't be close like they had been. A wall had been built between them, and Neal was afraid he was never going to be able to scale it. Their friendship was dead, as dead as all the soldiers that had lay motionless on the battlefield.

* * *

Kel, surrounded by people, had never felt more alone in her life. There was no denying it-she missed Neal. She needed him, more than she could imagine. More than she had ever realized. She didn't just need him as a lover; she needed him as a friend. She needed him there to cheer her up, to whisper sarcastic comments in her ear during a meeting, to just sit around and talk to.  
  
She was startled out of her thoughts when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned towards the person, and was surprised to find Dom there.  
  
"Kel, do you want to dance?" She nodded her head, and the two walked towards the dance floor.  
  
After several minutes of silence, Dom said quietly, "I know what happened between you and Neal."  
  
Her eyes snapped to him. "How?"  
  
"He told me. He talked about you all the time in his letters." He smiled at her blush. They danced in silence for a few moments, not knowing what to say.  
  
"So?" She finally asked, voice hard. She didn't want to talk about Neal. In fact, she didn't really feel like talking at all right now.  
  
"I know you are upset by what happened before he left. But, if he doesn't realize how much you loved each other, and thought that it was more important to do his duty to Yuki, than he doesn't deserve you." He told her softly.  
  
Tears gathered in her eyes, but she held them back. No one would see her cry, even if it was one of her closest friends. "Dom, can we please talk about something else?"  
  
Any fool could tell that she was upset. He turned the conversation to something much less personal. "Did I mention that you look lovely tonight, lady knight?"  
  
Kel was wearing a dark green dress with gold embroidered leaves in the bottom portion. It was quite tight, and very low cut, but looked extremely beautiful. Her light brown hair, made almost blonde by the sun, she wore down. She had never bothered to have it cut during the last year, so it reached her lower back.  
  
"Thank you." She whispered, wishing it was Neal she was here with, Neal telling her how nice she looked. They continued the dance in silence.  
  
When the music stopped, he reached over and kissed her on the forehead. "If you ever need anything, you know where to find me." He told her quietly before she went back to her friends. She turned and gave him a small smile, and he returned it.

* * *

(five days after docking)  
  
They sat before the fire, neither saying a word. This was how it had been since they had set sail. They rarely talked, just sat, each thinking their own thoughts.  
  
Finally, Yuki spoke, her voice low and even. "I know you love her."  
  
Neal's eyes snapped open in surprise. How could she know? "Who?"  
  
"Kel." She answered in a matter-of-fact tone.  
  
No denial rose to his lips. She gave him a bittersweet smile. "You thought I wouldn't know, but it was obvious. You were, after all, with her at war for over three years. I knew it would happen, but foolishly pushed the matter inside."  
  
He still said nothing. He was unable to deny it, as much as he wanted to. It was true, and he couldn't say it wasn't. He loved Yuki very much, and he couldn't lie to her because of that. She continued. "I knew something was wrong since before you came back. You hardly ever wrote me, and when you did, they where all short, brief letters. Then, Kel was hardly around when the war ended and you returned to the castle. When she was around, she was quiet, more than usual, and wouldn't look at anybody."  
  
She had begun pacing in front of him, but when she finished her speech, she sat on her knees right in front of him, looking deep into his green eyes. Gently, she reached up and brushed a lock of hair out of his face before continuing in a whisper, "I could tell when I looked in your eyes that you still loved her."  
  
The room was dead silent for several minutes, until she let out a sigh. "You need to go back, Neal. You need her. And I think Kel needs you, too."  
  
"But what about us?" He gestured to the two of them. Gently, she took his hand. When she released it, the ring that he had given her sat in his palm, glinting up at him.  
  
"Are-" His voice cracked. He started again. "Are you sure?" He prayed to the gods she was. "Of course." She kissed his cheek.  
  
"I still love you, Yuki. Just, well, in a different way."  
  
"I know, and I'm fine with that. Besides, I think Kel needs you more than I do. Or you need Kel more than you need me."  
  
"No, that's not-" He began, only to have her cut him off.  
  
"Of course it is. Who else is going to make sure that you eat all of your vegetables, Meathead?" Yuki asked teasingly.  
  
He let out a groan. "What is it with everyone and that bloody name?"  
  
"We all know you love it, Neal." She patted his shoulder and stood up.  
  
"Now, I am going to go to bed. You had better, too. Your ship leaves at dawn." She headed towards the door, only to be stopped by Neal's voice.  
  
"My what?!" he asked, shocked. She wouldn't have-she couldn't have-  
  
"I booked you a passage on a ship for your return to Tortall. I knew you would want to get back as soon as you could."  
  
He didn't know what to say. A mere 'thank you' wasn't enough. He said it anyway.  
  
"I will never be able to thank you enough." He told her quietly before kissing her lightly on the cheek.  
  
She gave him a sad smile. "Yes, you will. Just make her happy, and never stop loving her."

* * *

The end of another chapter. I hope you liked it! By the way, I believe this is the longest chapter I have ever written! A total of 1386 words, not including all the review things or anything else. I amaze myself sometimes. J/k.  
  
Pinky-Thank you for the compliment. I understand perfectly. I like how someone writes a lot, I just don't like what they wrote. Well, if you read this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it more than the last. And I hope you understand why Neal did what he did.  
  
PsychoLioness13-I know, I feel sorry for her. Thank you. I love that song, and it was just so fitting. Hope you liked the story.  
  
Lilliana-Rose-I know, sad endings are the worst! Like in Harry Potter. Damn J.K. Rowling!! Sorry, I just can't get over that. Anyway, I couldn't just leave it like that. It would be cruel! Besides, Kel needs a happy ending!!!  
  
Oceanspike-Good, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hope you liked this chapter!!  
  
Nolee of Stone Mountain-Ah, I'm sorry. I am not the only one to cry in song fics!! Yay! Well, I hope this chapter made you feel somewhat better. Hey, think of it this way-he will (hopefully) soon be back with Kel!!! While I really like Yuki, it will be good to get her out of the picture- no one steals Neal away from Kel!!!  
  
Also, I wanted to ask for some advice. I really have several different ideas for the next chapter, so if you could tell me which one you like better, I would be grateful.  
  
A: Neal is captured by pirates while sailing back to Tortall.

B: He gets back to Tortall, but Kel doesn't want him. (He will, of course, try to change her mind)

C: He persuades Kel to forgive him (I really don't like that one)

D: The chapter is just about sailing back and what he is thinking while doing so (rather boring)

E: It switches to Kel's POV  
  
Or, if you don't like any of these, you can give me your ideas. Thank you for the help!


	3. Ch one and a half: Best I've Ever Had

Chapter 1 ½: Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)  
  
Disclaimer: the lyrics belong to Vertical Horizon, the characters and places to Tamora Pierce. I, sadly, own nothing, and am just an obsessed thirteen year old who sits at her computer all day writing fanfics, having nothing better to do.  
  
_So you sailed away _

_Into a grey sky morning _

_Now I'm here to stay  
  
Love can be so boring  
_  
One bleak morning, you sailed out of my life, heading to back to Tortall to confess your love to one of my best friends. I loved you, but I knew I had to do what was right. I loved you too much, I think.  
  
_Nothing's quite the same now  
  
I just say your name now  
_  
Now, everything has changed. I hardly speak at all, only whisper your name to myself as I fall asleep.  
  
_But its not so bad  
  
You're only the best I ever had _

_You don't want me back_

_You're just the best I ever had_  
  
I try to tell myself that I am fine without you. But it's a lie. Not only were you my friend and lover, you were there to comfort me when I was sad, soothe me when I was upset, and talk to when I needed someone. You were the best thing that I have ever had in my life. And then you walk out, going back to Kel. You don't want me anymore. After all, you have your best friend, a fellow fighter. The girl you have always loved.  
  
_So you stole my world  
  
Now I'm just a phony _

_Remembering the girl _

_Leaves me down and lonely_  
  
You left, and took all of me with you. Now Im not the same, some fake. I don't even feel like myself anymore. Remembering the girl I used to be, the rather happy, content girl, leaves me feeling depressed and alone.  
  
_Send it in a letter  
  
Make yourself feel better_  
  
You wrote me a letter, trying to get rid of all of the guilt you felt. Apologizing for what you were doing, what you had done.  
  
_But its not so bad  
  
You're only the best I ever had _

_You don't need me back _

_You're just the best it ever had_  
  
I try to comfort myself by saying that I am fine. It doesn't work. I loved you so much. I needed you. You, however, didn't need me. You had Kel. You are better than anyone I had ever met. Of course you wouldn't stay with me when there was someone who was more like you, someone who was better for you, just standing there, waiting for you.  
  
_And it may take some time to  
  
Patch me up inside_  
  
No matter what, I will be fine. I have to be. It doesn't matter how long it takes, I will be fine.  
  
_But I cant take it so I _

_Run away and hide_  
  
It's so much, way too much. I hide myself constantly behind my mask, letting no one in. I don't want them to see how alone I feel, how depressed I have become.  
  
_And I may find in time that  
  
You were always right _

_You're always right_  
  
Maybe one day I will realize that you were right to do what you did. I very much doubt it, but maybe, hopefully, I will. Maybe I will realize that we weren't right together. We are, after all, from two different cultures. Maybe it is better this way. We can both be with people more like us.  
  
_So you sailed away  
  
Into a grey sky morning_  
  
You left, taking my heart with you. Now I am as cold as ice inside, and I feel like I will never be warm again. I feel as cold as it was the day you left, which I find humorous, in an awful, twisted way. The day my heart is ripped out of my chest, it is replaced by the frigid wind that takes you away from me, back to Tortall and the girl you love.  
  
_Now I'm here to stay  
  
Love can be so boring  
_  
I am here, here to stay in a place where I am alone inside my head. I remember you telling me about a conversation you had with Kel. You had told her about romance. About how it was magnificent and filled with grandeur. And I believed that you were right. Now I realize that it was a total lie. It's boring, when you love someone and they don't return it. It is worse than boring, its miserable.  
  
_But its not so bad  
  
You're only the best I ever had _

_I don't want you back_  
  
I don't want you back. I loved you, and you left me. How do I know you wouldn't do it again, given the chance? I don't. I will move on with my life and find that I am happy without you.  
  
_You're just the best I've ever had _

_The best I ever had _

_The best I ever_

* * *

This is an in between chapters. I love the song, and I thought it would fit with what Yuki was feeling, and it was a good way to put her in between the last chapter, which was mostly about Neal, and the next, which will also be about him. I thought we needed to know her feelings. I first wrote it about kel, but decided to change it.


	4. Chapter Two

Chapter Two: Returning Home

They walked to the docks in an awkward silence, neither knowing what to say. What could they say? He was leaving her for one of her best friends, for Mithros' sake.

The morning was cold and foggy, dull and grey. It fit both their moods perfectly. Neal was agonizing over what he was going to say to Kel when he returned, not to mention what he was going to say to Yuki when he left. He felt horrible about doing this to her. And he felt horrible about being glad that he got to go home.

Yuki, however, felt awful for very different reasons. She wasn't agonizing over what she was going to say. She had already said her piece. She was heart-broken that he was leaving. Yet she knew it was right. She loved him, and for that reason, she had to give him up. He deserved to be happy, and if he would be happy with Kel, fine. She still felt dreadful. 

The ship would leave any second. The two stood on the dock before it, unsure. Finally, Neal leaned over to her and quickly kissed her cheek before whispering, "Thank you so much, Yuki." The captain threatened to leave without him, so Neal quickly boarded, throwing one last smile to her.

"I love you, Neal, and always will." She whispered as the ship sailed away into the horizon. She watched it grow smaller and smaller. When it finally disappeared from her view, she walked slowly back to her parents manor, thinking dull thoughts. Dull thoughts that matched the dull morning.

Neal threw himself onto his bed. He was sick of this bloody cabin, of the bloody ship, and of the bloody ocean. He couldn't wait to get home. To get back to Kel. There was one problem, however. He still hadn't decided what to say to her. He didn't know. He knew how bad he must have hurt her, and didn't know what to say to make it right.

He had to figure it out, and he had to figure it out soon. They had four more days before docking in Port Caynn. From there, it would take two days to reach the palace. And he had as much planned out to say to her now as he had on the night he found out he was coming back, that they could actually be together, almost two weeks ago. What was he to do?

* * *

I know, very short. But, if the next chapter goes according to plan, it will be both very long and have lots of action. Or it should. Well, it will be long.

Okay, i dont have time to answer reviews now, so i will in the next chapter, i swear!


	5. Chapter Three

* * *

Goodbye to You

Chapter Three:

Letters

Dom sank down onto his bed, the letter falling to the floor. The words repeated themselves over and over in his head.

_Sergeant Domitian of Masbolle, we regret to inform you that your cousin, Nealan of Queenscove, was captured when pirates attacked the _Diamond,_ the ship he was on.... cousin....Neal....captured....pirates....attacked...._

He shook his head, trying to clear away all the thoughts. What was he going to do? What could he do? He had to tell his family. Uncle Baird, his aunt, all his little cousins....what would they do?

Suddenly, a face flashed in his mind. Kel. How was he going to tell her? She loved Neal. He was her best friend...She wouldn't take the news well at all. She'd already been through enough, with Neal leaving her like he had.

Dom, who had never been in love, could only imagine the pain she had been in. She had loved him, more than anything. And she had watched him leave to get married to someone else, after telling her he loved her too.

Would this be any better? She would have still had him as a friend at least, before. She would've had to watch him day after day, happily married to someone else. But wouldn't that have been better than him being gone completely?

Dom stretched out on his bed, trying to think of how to tell everyone.

"Could you give this to Keladry of Mindelan?" He handed the man the note and a coin before once more shutting the door.

Lord Raoul stared at the door in front of him, humor clear on his face. Obviously his young sergeant had a lot on his mind. Shaking his head, Raoul walked towards his old squire's rooms to give her the note.

* * *

Answering the door, Kel looked up and smiled at Lord Raoul. Her smile disappeared when she saw the worry etched into his face. "What is it?"  
  
"Dom gave me a coin and asked me to give this to you."

A laugh escaped her throat. Silently, she read the note.

"He wants to talk to me about something." She informed the older man.

"Oh. I think I will tag along. Maybe I can get another coin from him."  
  
They both laughed and walked towards the Own's Barracks.

"Come in!" Dom shouted from his place on the bed. He sat up as they entered.

"Oh, hello my lord." Dom said to his commander.

"Dom." He inclined his head.

"What are you doing here?" His voice was confused.

"After delivering the note to Kel, I thought I'd come back and see if you had any more need of my services." Raoul gave nothing away in his voice, but his eyes danced with mischief. A grin spread across his face when Dom blushed. 

"Sorry, sir. I have a lot on my mind. Could I talk to Kel alone?" 

Raoul said nothing, just nodded his head and walked out of the room, leaving the two alone.

"What's this about, Dom?" Kel asked, concerned for her friend.

"Maybe you should sit down." He told her. She shook her head, and sighed as he got up and poured them both some cider. She really wished he wouldn't dance around the subject.

After he handed her the cup, he said to her, "Kel, somethings happened to Neal."  
  
Her face went blank. She was gripping the glass so tightly her knuckles were white. "What is it?" Her voice was calm and serene, just as it always was. If he hadn't known her better, he would believe it. However, he did know her.

He took a moment to collect his thoughts. "He was returning home, and, well, the ship was attacked by pirates. He was captured."

Her face grew pale, paler than he had thought possible, and the glass fell to the floor.

* * *

Was that a cliffie? And you wont get any answers from the next chapter!!! HAH!!! Well, the next chapters another in between. I swear, I'll have another up soon....


	6. Ch 3 and a half: Taking Over Me

**Disclaimer for morons:no, i am not Tammy, as is obvious. These lyrics dont belong to me either, but to Amy Lee. Not even the disclaimer title belongs to me. I stole it from someone (cant remember who). **

**Chapter Three and a half:**

**Taking Over Me**  
__

_You don't remember me_

_But I remember you_

You obviously don't remember the nights we spent together, the words that passed between us. I do. I remember everything-how you would tell me you loved me, that you wanted to spend forever with me.

_I lie awake and try so hard_

_Not to think of you_

At night, all I want is to not think of you. All those thoughts bring is more pain, and I've already had enough. I need no more reminders of what had happened.

_But who can decide what they dream?_

_And dream I do..._

I have no control over it, however. For when sleep takes over, all I can dream of is you, your face smiling down at me, your eyes sparkling with so much love, your arms holding me, keeping me safe through it all. I see your smile, forever burning in my mind, and hear those words, forever in my ears.

_I believe in you_

_I'll give up everything just to find you_

I believe in you; more than anything. You're my best friend, and I love you. How could I not believe in you, even after all I've been through. I'd give anything to find you, to bring you back safe.

_I have to be with you to live to breathe_

_You're taking over me_

Lately all I can think of is you. With every breath I take, thoughts of you come with it. These images of you are haunting me, and I can't find peace.

_Have you forgotten all I know_

_And all we had?_

Is what we had just a dream to you, something that you can't remember in full, something that you don't want to recall? Do you not care that I still feel the pain? Have you forgotten what it's like to love?

_You saw me mourning my love for you_

_And touched my hand_

_I knew you loved me then_

Do you remember, when we first 'found each other', as you put it? I was sitting at the campfire, worrying, trying to figure out what to do. I didn't think I had any right to love you as I did. Maybe I was right. You came up behind me and took my hand gently in my own. Sparks ran up my arm, and I had to stop myself from jumping back. You smiled and whispered, "I felt it too." You had so much love in your eyes at that moment. I realized that you felt the same thing I did. I realized that you loved me.

_I believe in you_

_I'll give up everything just to find you_

No matter what happens, I will find you. I swear I will.

_I have to be with you to breathe_

You're taking over me I look in the mirror and see your face 

_If I look deep enough_

_So many things inside that are_

_Just like you are taking over_

When I look at myself, I see the pieces that are you. And I can't erase them, no matter how hard I try. You've been a part of my life for so long, and I can't imagine life without you. Maybe I'll have to start trying.

My heart disagrees with my common sense at times. Its telling me, 'go find him, you love him, you're his best friend.' And I cant ignore that part of me. No matter how untrue I want it to be, I still love you. My heart's taken over me, just as you have.

* * *

That was fun. I have three songfics on this story, and six chapters! That means half of them are songfics! I wrote this chapter before the last one, btw, so if there is any confusion, you have my apologies. Now, I believe I will answer reviews! 

Acknowledgments:

VampiricEternity-so your not liking me about now, are you?

pinky-thanks! i hope you enjoyed the chapter!

megster-i wont. and it wasnt as long as i'd expected.

Wake-Robin- i know, she is. Well, hope you liked!

LillianaRose-i will, i will! i updated like five things, so thats understandable...

oceanspike-thanks. glad you liked...

PsychoLioness13-I bet your not too happy with the turn of events either...hmm....


	7. Chapter Four: Discussions

Chapter Five:

This chapter is dedicated to Lilian**n**a-Rose. I spelled your name right, ha!

"I _refuse _to stay here while my best friend is out there." She stated, voice cold. She placed her fists on his desk, leaning on it for support.

He quirked a brow. "You refuse, lady knight?"  
  
She said nothing, just watched him, expression showing nothing.

"And what if I say no? Will you go off like last time, disobeying orders, trying to kill yourself?" His voice was strangely mocking, a thing she had never heard from the king.

"Yes, I will." She met his blue eyes with her own calm, though icy, hazel ones. He didn't look away.

"Very well. I grant you permission to go find your friend. You may take Third Company of the Own with you, just like last time. I believe the sergeant is Sir Nealan's cousin, so he will most likely want to go. Be back before your leave is up." King Jonathan informed her.

She just nodded her head silently, figuring out how many days that was. Eighteen. Two weeks, four days. How could she find him in that little amount of time? She couldn't. Damn everything to the Black God's realms and back! Well, she would try.

"You will need to need to inform Lord Raoul. Good luck, lady knight. And remember to return on time." He said, and she knew that the meeting was over.

Standing up, she bowed to the king and headed for the door with a sigh. Now she would have to get the company together and get ready. Not to mention explaining to her friends where she was going and informing Lord Wyldon that she would be absent for the rest of her leave.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Lord Raoul!" She called, banging on his door.

After a moment, it swung open, and the older knight was standing in front of her, a large smile crossing his face. "Ah, Kel, nice to see you." He said with a smile as he moved to admit her. She nodded her head, not smiling in return. 

"I'm guessing this isn't a social visit?" He asked as he poured them both a thing of cider.

"No, sir." She shook her head and accepted the glass being pushed into her hands.

"Well, sit down and tell me what's going on." He ordered as he sank down into a chair himself.  
  
Kel followed the movement and began to explain. "Dom received a letter recently. It said that pirates overtook the ship Neal had been on. They have him captive."  
  
He shook his head sympathetically. "Is that what he wanted to talk to you about yesterday?"  
  
She nodded her head and continued. "I had an audience with the king today. He said," she took a deep breath, "he said that I could take Third Company and find him."  
  
He stood up and hugged her. "Okay, Kel. Good luck, and have a safe journey."  
  
She was glad of his support. It was one thing she was always guaranteed. Her old knight-master, more like a father to her, was someone who was always behind her. Just as Neal was always beside her. Or was. She swallowed. 

"We leave in the morning, at dawn. I have to go tell Dom."  
  
Raoul didn't say anything, just watched as his old squire walked out of his rooms, a sad expression on her face.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Dom, I got permission from the king. We're going after him." She said, voice empty.

Dom, who wanted to ask several questions, finally chose the most important, or at least for the moment. "We?" He repeated, questioning. 

"You, me, and the rest of Third Company."  
  
"Ah." He said nothing else, thinking to save the rest for the ride. It would be long, he guessed, and the better time to discuss her emotions. She should get the chance to think about everything herself first.

"At dawn?" He quirked an eyebrow.

She nodded her head and turned towards the door. "I have to go pack. Would you get tell everyone else, please?"  
  
He nodded his head, but she was already gone. With a sigh, Dom headed for the Own's practice courts, hoping to find his men. 

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Kel moved out to the knight's stables, hoping that her horses would bring her the peace she needed. She stroked her war horse, tangling fingers in his short hair.

All she could think of was the past. Of the sound Neal had made when Peachblossom had bitten him. Of the outraged cry the knight had made when seeing the ripped cloth of his tunic. Of the loud guffaws (hers) and curses shouted at the horse (Neal).

She shook herself from the memory. This would give her no help now. If anything, it would make everything worse. Memories from the pastâ€she shuddered. She hoped she could go this whole escapade without those kind of thoughts. Though unlikely, she prayed for it. For if she did have those memories, she would loose herself in themâ€in him. And she couldn't do that. She was only finding him. She didn't get to keep him, or at least, not in the ways that mattered.

* * *

Gods. That last bit depressed me a little. Humph. Poor Kel. Neal's a bloody idiot, I have to say. Ah, well. Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers!

**Terriah- **no, don't do that! If you cry, I'll cry, and then we'll have a nice ball fest.

**PsychoLioness13- **I know, I know...Thanx, and your spelling wasn't that bad.

**pinky-** I know.hmmm....you'll see....hahahahahahaha....I thought that it would be nice to add a little bit of humor, after all the depression...I quite enjoyed that part too...is that pathetic or what?Glad you liked the songfics...they're fun to do, and you can really get the characters emotions out better some times....

**Glaivr Girl-** I know, I do too...Neal's so amazing, and wonderful, and funny, and cute...goes off into a little dreamland before noticing people staring at her oddly... ahem...no, there isnt enough good ones. Thanx! Glad to hear it affected you...I cry when people die to...like this one that I cant remember the name or the author, it was soo sad...i wrote a very nasty review and complained for like five minutes....i love both Neal and Legolas, but I dont read LOTR fanfiction...no one can measure up to JRR Tolkien. Of course, Tammy, in my opinion, is wonderful, but her stories are more reachable I guess...and yes, I am quite aware that I am blabbering, and am now shutting up so you can review

**Megster- **Thanx! I try to update as often as possible, but sometimes I get sidetracked so I end up having more than one thing to update. lol. If only I had remembered this review...that wouldve been great...NO!! NO DOM LOVING KEL!!! while i luv luv luv dom, i cant do that to neal! i did that to him in my other one, you see. neal feels guilty because dom loves kel too...while its fun, it leaves me depressed, and i want to change my mind about who shes with, and if i did that, i would have some people after me that had pitchforks and torches...Anyway, thanks for the review, and good idea! maybe you should write one!

**Wake-Robin-** I know...hahahahahaha! im gonna leave you guessing!!!

**LillianNa-Rose-** See, i spelled it write this time!!! HAHAHAHAHA! I even capitalized it so you'd notice! lol. Thanx a bunch, and hope you liked this chapter!

**Oceanspike-**Thanks, Kit. Hope you liked this one!


	8. Chapter Five: About Neal

(Two weeks ago)

Neal awoke, face pressed against something cold and hard. No, that wasn't right. He was on the ship, in his bunk. Why...

One eye slowly opened, then the other. A groan escaped his lips, quickly followed by a second as he remembered what had happened.

He had was sitting in his cot, head in his hands, worrying over what he was to tell Kel. Then there was the blast of a horn, following by a scream, then the sound of a splash. He hurried for the deck, grabbing his sword as he went.

_The deck was in complete chaos. Men were sword fighting, rain was everywhere, trails of blood mixing in with the cool water.  
  
He launched himself at the nearest pirate and began to attack. The man soon had the young knight's sword through him. _

_Neal quickly pulled his weapon out, wincing at the blood. The man, boy really, had had no training. He had no chance against a warrior. _

_The battle continued around him. He watched for a moment as crewmembers fell. _

_A man near him was about to be stabbed. Neal quickly ran his sword through the pirate trying to kill him. He fell to the floor._

_The man wiped away the blood that had begun to trickle down his face. "Thanks."  
  
Neal nodded in answer and was about to jump once more into the fight when he was hit over the head with something- hard. The last thing that went through his mind was, "I have to get to Kel."_

Neal shook his head, bringing himself out of the memories. The last few weeks had been...torture. Literally. He had been stuck on this bloody island, the captive of these bloody pirates. He barely got anything to eat, just a measly, not to mention disgusting, soup.

They didn't even make him do anything. Just left him to his thoughts. And that was one thing he did not want to be left to. Because all he could think about was her. And that tortured him more than anything; the fact that he would most likely never see her again, never get the chance to apologize, to tell her that he loved her.

"Pretty boy!" A gruff voice yelled. He looked up to see an exceptionally ugly pirate grinning maliciously down at him.

Neal frowned. He hated being called that! It was worse than being called Meathead! He knew that when his cousin called him that, he said it jokingly. He knew that Dom cared about him. But when these men called him Pretty boy....

Truth tell, he was beginning to miss that damnable name his cousin was always calling him. Even more, he missed his best friend.

---

Sorry for the shortness. i swear i'll have more up soon...now, to the reviews!

Makai-Tenshi- i know, i know. thanks! kewlies! cant wait!hold on...what story? i cant remember....

VampiricEternity- lol. thanks

oceanspike-umm...kit, you all right? cuz that was scary...

Terriah- aww...thanks!

PsychoLioness13- thanks!!! ive always been confused about the whole third company bit. it just...i dont know.

pinky- thanks soo much!!! ive decided: you need to get a fanfiction up...ha!

Nolee- no bd. okaaay...your so weird. and i actually listened to you! so there!

Wake-Robin- i'll try my best! hope you enjoyed the chappie!


	9. Chapter Six

**Goodbye To You**

**_This is dedicated to Lily, Nol, and Kit, my slightly (or more so, in some cases) insane friends and loyal reviewers. Thanks, you guys._**

* * *

Dawn found the party traveling down the road to Port Caynn, the place where this long journey had started. Or ended, depending on how you looked at it. Kel saw it as both; the end of a romance, of a friendship. And the beginning...well, the beginning of whatever came after that.

A slight sigh escaped her lips. Dom, who rode at her side, turned worried eyes towards her.

"Do you want to talk?" He asked, voice low, not wanting his men to overhear them. He didn't want them to know that Neal and Kel had been more than just friends.

"I'm fine." She answered, equally quiet. Despite her words however, a single tear fell.

Throwing a quick glance over his shoulder, wanting to make sure Third Company was far enough away not to see what was going on, he brushed it away with a gently hand. "Everything will be fine." He told her, trying to reassure himself as well as her.

Instead of worrying what his men would think of Neal and Kel's relationship, he should have been more concerned over what they thought of he and Kel's. Unfortunately for all of them, they were getting the wrong idea.

They were watching the two curiously, rather large grins on their faces. Dom, they thought, deserved someone to love, and Lady Kel was the perfect person for him. Besides, she needed someone to take her mind away from her own troubles.

* * *

Yes, I know, this is very short, but I wanted to add a little, cuz I've had huge writer's block on this story. Anyway, gripe at me all you want, I deserve it. Not updating for weeks, then writing this short, awful chapter...anyway, I just wanted something to work off of...and this seems like the perfect thing, because I have a lot I can use...

**VampiricEternity: **thanks!

**VanillaChocolate: **lol. Its no bd. Thanks! And i'll have more up soon, i swear. I have the week off, though i do have to get some homework done...ugh.

**Nolee: **yeah. oookaay. Keep on telling yourself that, Nol. I will, i will. I'll have it up by Holloween. How's that? Did i mention you are scary?

**Kit: **you and Nol are both starting to scare me. I am beginning to question your sanity.

**LilliannaRose: **lol.

**PsychoLioness13: **lol. doesnt it suit him?

**Parcheezie: **thanks!

**pinky: **look at me! i can barely keep my attention on one thing for any length of time! its pathetic! of course i love you reviewing me! youre such a great reviewer! lol. Thanks! And you'll see! BTW: if you had an actual account, i'd bother you to help me with something i'm kinda stuck on...i dont know who to ask...darn.

**Keladry of Queenscove: **OMG!!! lol. that is the best idea i have ever heard! yay! im gonna have to try it! yay!

**Wake-Robin:** i know, isnt that sad?! poor meathead...

**Terriah: **thanks!


	10. Chapter Seven

Kel made her way through the cobbled streets of Port Caynn, towards the dock. Dom rode not far behind her.

She tried to still her beating heart. She couldn't be afraid; it wasn't like she was doing anything now besides talking to the owner of a shipping company to try to get information out of him. Maybe…maybe she could figure out _something_.

Kel let out a sigh as she left the man's office. He had given her no information; he had hardly even cared. What was she to do?

A voice sounded behind her. She turned to face Dom, trying to erase the disappointment, the fear from her features. _What would happen to him?_

Dom seemed to notice, no matter how hard she tried to wipe it away. He, however, looked…well, looked almost _cheerful_.

"What is it?" She asked, almost tersely.

He just grinned, his bright blue eyes flashing. "I had an idea…Baron George of Pirates' Swoop is said to know everyone of the thieving sort…maybe he knows of, or at least knows someone who knows, these pirates and where to find them."

She nodded. "Yes, lets try that. We have no other leads, we might as well." A sigh escaped her lips.

Dom knew that she wasn't meaning what she had said as an insult. She was just tired. He understood, and for that reason, just smiled and gestured for her to continue down the road to where they would meet up with the rest of Third Company.

It took only two days to get to the Swoop from Port Caynn. For that, Kel was relieved. They couldn't take too long for things like this. They didn't have the time. Already three days had been lost. Only fifteen left…and she had to find him, had to bring him back.

They rode up to the large wall that surrounded the place, and Kel looked up at it, awe clearly written on her face. Despite her emotions over the past few weeks, nothing could change the feeling she got in side of her to see it. This was the Lioness's _home._

After being cleared by the Gate Guard, they rode into the courtyard and dismounted. Life bustled around them; hostlers from the stables came up to take the reigns from them, servants asked if they needed assistance, dogs ran around, barking wildly, as their care takers tried to once more gather them.

A loud, wry sounding voice said, "Well, this is interestin'…the only one who creates this much of a mess coming home is my wife. And since you are a little too tall to be her, who would you would be?" He gazed around at the group questioningly.

Kel stepped up. "I'm Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan, my lord." She bowed politely before continuing, "I believe we've met before. Third Company and I are to ask for your help."

He nodded, recognizing her. "Well, why don't you and your men come in and join us for dinner…Third Company can join the guards, and you can join my daughter," he gestured to the girl behind him, "and I."

She nodded her head. "Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle," she pointed to the sergeant, who was currently helping with the catching of the dogs, "will also need to be there to discuss it."

The Baron smiled. "Then by all means, he may join us."

They sat down at a long table. The servants soon came filing out, placing steaming plates of food on it. Kel's stomach growled, and she blushed lightly. The baron just laughed. "You had a hard ride, lass. We'll discuss whatever is on your mind later. Right now, dig in."

She followed his orders, hesitantly accepting the tray of meat passed to her and taking off a few slices. Quickly, she filled the rest of her plate, enjoying the peaceful time for the moment.

Once dinner was done and the plates were cleared, the baron leaned back in his chair. "Now, would you like to tell me what this is about?"

Nodding, Kel began. "A few weeks ago, Nealan of Queenscove departed for the Yamani Islands. Recently, he took a ship home, only to be captured by pirates sometime during the voyage." She informed the man, voice emotionless. She couldn't afford emotion now.

"Nealan of Queenscove, you said? Well…." He paused for a moment, as if deep in thought. "This is interesting," Baron George said finally. "Am I correct in guessing you came to me because you believed I could help find the pirates, thereby finding the lost knight?"

Kel and Dom nodded their heads.

"Well, we'll have to look around, try and find some things out." He said. "You will have to stay a while. How long do you have to find him?" When told the answer, he gave them a small smile. "It might come close, but we'll get him back in the time allowed. Now, why don't we go up to my office and take a look at the map?"

He began to walk up the stairs, leaving the two to follow.

Once in his spacious office, they all took a seat around the desk as the Baron pulled out a map and set it out. "Show me the route the ship took back," he ordered as he took out an inkwell and pen.

Kel traced the route the owner had shown her.

He let out a whistle. "There are several possibilities here," They paused and looked up, surprised. Seeing their looks, he continued, "You see, most common pirates prefer to live on deserted islands. They have a much larger food supply, and for the most part no one knows they are there. They can also get to the ships they rob more easily, being right on the water. There are several islands around this route, however." He let out a sigh. "Do you know if it was a large pirate group, or a smaller one?"

Dom swallowed. "No, my lord," he informed the baron.

"George," he corrected, as if by reflex. "No sense botherin' with the 'my lord' nonsense if we're gonna be working together, is there?" he let out another sigh. "Well, it will be more troublesome to find them like this, but you can search all of the islands right in that area…that'll take awhile, but its your best bet. Try the larger islands first; pirates have to choose places to live that can easily provide for them when they can't do so for themselves. A large island has more to offer."

They both nodded wearily.

George seemed to notice their tired state. "Why don't you go to your rooms now, and we can discuss it more in the mornin?" He offered. Before giving them time to answer, he rang a bell that would call a servant to him.

A woman stepped into the room not moments later. "Yes?"

"Maude, would you be so kind as to show these two to two of the guest quarters?" He asked before turning back to them. "Third Company has already been shown to where they could sleep…they'll be fine. I'll see you both at breakfast." He shooed them out of the room, a small smile on his face.

Kel and Dom thanked their host before following the woman to their rooms, both trying to suppress their yawns.


	11. Chapter Nine

The next two days past quickly…on the dawn of the third, Kel woke up and immediately went to her bedroom window, which overlooked the ocean. In the water was the ship George had promised them.

She grinned…perfect. Now they could be on their way. Truth told, she had been getting antsy, sitting around the past two days, and she was sure Dom felt the same way.

Hurriedly dressing and putting the few items back in her bags that she had brought, she went down the stairs and out to the courtyard. She was surprised to see Dom and George were already waiting there for her. Dom must have been more anxious than she had thought.

With a grin, she greeted them. "Morning!"

They replied in kind, both with grins on their face. The company began to board the ship, and Dom and Kel watched as they did, all the while talking to George.

"Yes, we know where to look. We'll see you when we get back, Baron." He and Kel, then he and Dom, locked forearms.

"Good luck, and may the gods be with you," he called after them as they walked up the dock and onto the ship. Under his breath, he added, "You'll need it, lady knight."

Ah, I know, very short chapter. Short and sucky. Ah, well. Live with it. I gave you at least one semi-decent one…if you want to call it that. I do, because otherwise I would be calling it something none too polite…and I don't want to do that, since I did write it after all.


End file.
